TheSpoof.com : Swiss unveil Doomsday Cuckoo Clock funny satire story

Interested in writing your own news stories like these? Yes, tell me more! Featured Writer Frank Cotolo Joined: 27 May 2004 Stories: 152 Articles: 10 You are here: Home / News / Business Brief / Swiss unveil Doomsday Cuckoo Cl... Swiss unveil Doomsday Cuckoo Clock Written by queen mudder Story written: 13 January 2007 Email this story Print this story Just like this one but with a lot more feathers Zurich, Switzerland - (Rioters): The Swiss government has unveiled plans for their Doomsday Cuckoo Clock which gauges world credibility of its banking secrecy arrangements which have fallen so far behind internationally accepted standards that they are in line for a UN Iraqi Oil-for-Fraud nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize. Centuries of efficient money laundering, dictator sheltering and diplomacy obfuscating tradition have also come under intense pressure from the European Union which Switzerland has steadfastly dismissed as an irrelevant competitor in an international mug's game of hide and seek. But all that is now set to change as Russian oiligarchs and Chinese plutocrats vote with their feet, stashing their new found billions in myriad Carribean offshore schemes recommended by chums of Lord Levy, the UK Prime Monster's Mr Cashpoint and blind trust portfolio bagman. The crisis has now reached unprecedented levels and the necessity for Swiss banks and institutions to face the possibility of total meltdown of their greed-sheltering monopoly has become the government's top priority. This week their new Doomsday Cuckoo Clock will be set at one minute to midnight with a warning that in six months time a new realignment of the minute hand will be inevitable unless the Gnomes of Zurich come up with a better scam than current chip 'n' spin arrangements on customers' plastic. "If this doesn't work we'll be the world's number one laughing stock", said the governor of the Swiss Bank for Deconstruction and Embezzlement as he hurried to his weekly briefing session with World Bank CEO Paul Wolfowitz. Expect an update later next week.
Category: Clock Cuckoo Switzerland

The Clock Studio

In the coming pages you will see a large range of cuckoo clocks. They are categorised as follows: 1-Day - without music 1-Day - with music 8-Day - without music 8-Day - with music Fine Swiss musical movements with either 1 or 2 melodies provide the music. Surf through and you will be pleasantly surprised at the large range and beauty of these beautiful, hand made clocks.
Category: Swiss Cuckoo Clock

Cousins UK - Cuckoo Parts

Cuckoo Parts products Click on the headings below to show/hide available product information and display available product stock items: Bird (for Cuckoo Clock) Blue & White Blue and white, complete with bracket and screw. Beak to tail 75mm. Beak to bracket 20mm.
Category: Clock Cuckoo Part Wooden

Parallaxis Cuckoo Clock - Reviews and free Parallaxis Cuckoo Clock downloads at Download.com

Parallaxis software Parallaxis software Computers can be boring and mundane, why not spice it up a bit, with a new Cuckoo Clock. There is a lot of breathtaking graphics on Cuckoo Clock - classical clock, futuristic clock, office clock, even Big Ben is included! This program is all your timekeeping needs in one package: see the time right on your computer desktop; hear the chimes on the hour, half-hour and quarter; set alarms for appointments and deadlines; have your system clock set automatically using atomic clock. Customize alarm/clock sounds and messages. Download a lot of free themes, skins and collection. This software makes a refreshing change to the normal mundane PC clock, why not try it yourself. Version 5.0 may include unspecified updates, enhancements, or bug fixes. CNET Networks is not responsible for the content of this Publisher's Description. We encourage you to determine whether this product or your intended use is legal. We do not encourage or condone the use of any software in violation of applicable laws.
Category: Cuckoo Clock Kit

Kassel Cuckoo Clock

Kassel Cuckoo Clock. Features a hand carved genuine wood case. Measures 131/4" x 17" x 63/8". Requires 2D batteries (not included). 90 day warranty. Drop shipping available in the United States ONLY for this item. - Suggested Retail: 202.95 Wholesale: 91.48
Category: Kassel Cuckoo Clock